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FRIDAY 21 JANUARY
Critic's Choice: Planning Outlaws
Channel 4. 7.30pm
An Englishman’s home may be his castle, but as this Short Cuts documentary proves, if he wants to add some extra turrets, he’s going to need full planning permission. UK planning laws may sometimes seem overly restrictive but they exist to prevent opportunistic developers from blocking views of the village green with a concrete carbuncle. Hence it’s impossible to feel any kind of sympathy for the three “planning outlaws” profiled here. Jim (surname wisely withheld, right) was given permission to build a straw bale house in the Forest of Dean, with the proviso that he use it for educational purposes and not as a dwelling; he moved in ,and now he wonders why the authorities are trying to evict him. Hotelier Abid Gulzar erected a set of hideous six-foot white stone lions on the protected Pevensey Levels in Sussex without seeking planning permission; now he wonders why they’ve been vandalised by locals. And nightclub owner Michel Harper built a granny flat in the grounds of his Surrey mansion that was bigger than green belt restrictions allowed; after stubbornly refusing to comply with the council, he now wonders why they’ve come to demolish it. All three flouted the regulations before wasting taxpayers’ money contesting the decisions. They are three of the most dislikeable people you’ll see on television all year, and by the end of the programme you’ll be ready to drive the bulldozer yourself. SR
Scottish Island Parish
BBC Two, 7.30pm
A new addition to the Parish family (we’ve already had A Country Parish, A Seaside Parish and Island Parish), this affable new series follows a year in the most southerly islands of the Outer Hebrides as experienced by Father Paul MacKinnon, Father Roddy McAuley and Father Calum MacLellan. SR
Green Zone (2010)
Sky Movies Premiere/HD, 8.00pm
Paul “Bourne” Greengrass is reunited with Matt Damon for this thriller set during the US invasion of Iraq in 2003. Damon plays an officer on the hunt for WMDs who begins to suspect that there might not be any, and that his shady superiors might already know it. A compelling blend of fact and fiction. EC
Life in a Cottage Garden with Carol Klein
BBC Two, 8.30pm
It might be all frost out there at the moment, but it’s never too early to start planning your planting for the year, which is where Carol Klein comes in. Condensing a year in her North Devon cottage garden into six weeks of inspiring horticultural tutorials, she’s now reached late spring. The trees may be blossoming, but there’s still work to be done, planting sweet peas, staking perennials and picking the first salad leaves. Carol and husband Neil also turn beekeepers, taking delivery of their first hive of honey bees. SR
Can’t Take It with You
BBC Two, 9.00pm
If you haven’t made your own will yet, you may well want to seek out your nearest solicitor after tonight’s episode of this series about what happens to your money after you die. Sir Gerry Robinson meets two retired couples with sizeable estates but as yet no wills in place. It may seem likea simple enough equation for them to divide their assets equally between their offspring, but what if their children are at different stages of their lives, with some more in need of money than others? Robinson insists that the solution is less about deciding who gets what and more about maintaining honesty within the family, so he gathers the affected parties together to talk through their decisions in the open. It all makes for emotive and illuminating television. SR
The 50 Funniest Moments 2010
Channel 4, 9.00pm
It does seem a little late to be looking back at the gaffes and blunders that defined 2010. Unlessof course nostalgia is contracting at such a rate that we’re already meant to be getting misty-eyed about Gordon Brown and Paul the Octopus. Either way, expect the usual parade of jobbing comedians cracking second-hand gags about the BP oil spill. SR
Legends: Thin Lizzy – Bad Reputation
BBC Four, 9.00pm
This is an affectionate documentary about the Irish devil-may-care rockers Thin Lizzy which isn’t afraid to tell a few truths either, helped by contributions from former band members, producer Tony Visconti and Bob Geldof. There are pre-mix tracks from the self-confident Jailbreak album, early pre-Lizzy footage of front man Phil Lynott and the story behind the numerous guitarists that were fired. Then there is the ongoing controversy behind the recording of the Live and Dangerous album (was it really live?) and the constant dark cloud of drink and drugs that claimed the life of Lynott and eventually prompted another band member to take up golf as a substitute. SH
Criminal Minds
Living, 9.00pm
This more-than-decent police procedural is still getting the necessary ratings in the US and was granted a sixth season last year. From that series comes Remembrance of Things Past, in which an old crime comes back to haunt the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit when David Rossi (Joe Mantegna) finds unnerving reminders of a killer called The Butcher who hadn’t been heard of for 25 years. SH
Babel (2006)
More4, 9.00pm
Engrossing, multi-narrative drama telling the interrelated stories of a handful of people, in Morocco, Japan, Mexico and the US, who are all bound by a fateful shot fired by a playful Moroccan boy. It’s about the difficulties of communicating but the film itself is communicated in a rather jumbled fashion. With Brad Pitt. RW
Fast and Loose
BBC Two, 10.00pm
Second helping of this new comedy improv show from the makers of Mock The Week. Hugh Dennis, of the aforementioned topical comedy vehicle, is the most prominent name involved, but Fast and Loose is also a showcase for some of the most respected names on the live comedy circuit, such as Laura Solon and Justin Edwards (aka hilarious drunken children’s entertainer Jeremy Lion). SR
Point Break (1991)
BBC One, 11.30pm
Kathryn Bigelow’s cult surfing/crime film elevated the late Patrick Swayze’s status to true action hero. Keanu Reeves plays Johnny Utah, an FBI agent who goes undercover to infiltrate the Ex-Presidents, a gang of bank-robbing Zen surfers led by the charismatic Bodhi (Swayze). CM
The Fountain (2006)
Film4, 11.40pm
Darren Aronofsky, currently wowing cinema goers with Black Swan, had his work cut out with this metaphysical melodrama about the quest for eternal life. Rachel Weisz and Hugh Jackman star in a visually resplendent time-travelling three-pronged narrative. The leap-frogging in time is a little bewildering. RW
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SATURDAY 22 JANUARY
Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)
ITV1, 3.30pm
After the dire Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones, George Lucas comes good with the last of his Star Wars prequels. It’s exceptionally silly – as are all the Star Wars films – but is still a beautiful, action-packed adventure as we witness Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) succumb to the dark side.
British Comedy Awards
Channel 4, 9.00pm
Just in time for its 22nd birthday, the comedy back-slapping bash gets a transfer from ITV1 to Channel 4 and a general spruce-up. This revamped ceremony is being broadcast live from London’s O2 Arena and the often recklessly risqué Jonathan Ross remains as host. His traditional acerbic opening monologue – edgy enough on ITV, likely to be even nearer the knuckle now – should have station executives shifting nervously in their seats. For the first time, there’s a live public vote for the year’s top funny person, to be crowned “King or Queen of Comedy”. Out in the crowd, the cream of the UK’s comedy talent will eat, drink, be merry, then forget to pull gracious faces when they don’t win. In another first, those industry types will be joined by the great unwashed, as some tickets have been on sale to viewers. Expect Michael McIntyre and Miranda Hart to lead the race for gongs. Tonight’s proceedings have been heavily trailed by a week of build-up programming, so there’s a lot invested in the event itself delivering both entertainment and headlines – while avoiding the phone-in scandals and voting irregularities that dogged its last years on ITV. MH
The Magicians
BBC One, 7.00pm
The penultimate visit to Lenny Henry’s noisy, neon-lit warehouse of wizardry, where three magic acts team up with celebrities. Illusionist Luis de Matos is joined by pop wallies N-Dubz, Chris Korn by kangaroo-tying artist Rolf Harris, and Bafta-nominated Scots duo Barry and Stuart by actor Martin Kemp. MH
Primeval
ITV1, 7.00pm
The telegenic prehistorian team travel to a coastal village, where local legend has it that a sea monster is attacking farm animals. Naturally, it turns out to be an amphibious dinosaur, the crocodile-like koolasuchus, which soon broadens its prey to include local fishermen. The sci-fi drama has disappointed in the ratings this year, attracting fewer than 4m viewers and being soundly beaten by the Beeb’s Magicians in this family-focused slot – hardly ideal for a CGI-laden show that costs a pretty penny to produce. MH
The Tudors
BBC Two, 9.45pm
The fourth and final series of this Canadian-produced period drama about Henry VIII. This 10-part run portrays the last seven years of his turbulent reign. The increasingly infirm Henry is newly married to beautiful teenager Katherine Howard (Tamzin Merchant). However, some of his treacherous male courtiers have lascivious designs on the seductive young Queen. Despite the drama often playing fast and loose with historical fact, it’s amusingly glossy (razor-cheekboned star Jonathan Rhys Meyers hardly resembles an obese, gout-ridden fiftysomething) and soapily entertaining. MH
The Killing
BBC Four, 9.00pm & 9.55pm
Copenhagen is suddenly all the rage: it’s been voted “the world’s most liveable city” by style pundits and, in Noma, it boasts the top-ranked restaurant. Now comes the British debut of this acclaimed Danish crime series, which has been a cult hit across Europe and is being remade by Fox in America. It follows a female detective from Copenhagen police’s homicide department who investigates the murder of a teenage girl – tracing it back to a politician campaigning to become the city’s mayor. Set over 20 episodes spanning 20 days on the case, it’s moody, violent and viscerally thrilling. There’s also a double bill to open, in a bid to get you hooked. SH
Journey to the Edge of the Universe
More4, 9.00pm
This spectacular film takes viewers on the first ever accurate non-stop voyage from Earth to the edge of the universe using a single, unbroken shot. Adding CGI to images taken from the Hubble telescope, it travels out past the Moon and our neighbouring planets to the galaxies beyond – right into infinity, exploring the science of the stars as it goes. SH
The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)
ITV1, 10.30pm; not STV/Ulster
Andy Stitzer (Steve Carrell) is a virgin at 40. Egged on by his workmates, Andy endures drunken encounters and painful chest waxes – which make it seem better to be chaste than chased. That is until he meets single mum Trish (Catherine Keener). A raunchily amusing yarn, even if the film’s one joke premise grows tired by the end.
The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)
ITV1, 10.30pm; not STV/Ulster
Andy Stitzer (Steve Carrell) is a virgin at 40. Egged on by his workmates, Andy endures drunken encounters and painful chest waxes – which make it seem better to be chaste than chased. That is until he meets single mum Trish (Catherine Keener). A raunchily amusing yarn, even if the film’s one joke premise grows tired by the end.
Nurse Jackie
BBC Two, 10.40pm
Another import returns, this time the under-rated US black comedy starring former Sopranos matriarch Edie Falco as the titular anti-heroine working in a New York emergency room. She’s a corner-cutting, acid-tongued, drug-addicted adulteress but you can’t help rooting for her, thanks to Falco’s fine, Emmy-winning performance. As we rejoin it, Jackie is patching things up with her family but faces an official complaint at the hospital. The debut series slightly slipped under the radar last year – partly because it was interrupted by coverage of the Winter Olympics. Perhaps it will now get the plaudits here it deserves. MH
The Big Heat (1953)
BBC Two, 12.40am; Scotland, 1.10am
Fritz Lang’s explosive noir classic in which Det Sgt Bannion (Glenn Ford) uncovers a world of venal public officials on the payroll of gangsters, Lagana and Stone (Lee Marvin). Ford brings a cussed intensity to the role of Bannion and the great Lang conveys an oppressive morality with his direction: the economic shots and dialogue give the film a prickly unease. Worth watching alone for Bannion’s confrontation of Lagana.
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SUNDAY 23 JANUARY
Aladdin (1992)
Channel 5, 3.40pm
Along with Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid, Aladdin formed part of the Disney Renaissance, an era when the studio returned to making successful animations based on fairy tales. Robin Williams’s Genie steals the show with witty one-liners in a story about a street urchin who, using a magic lamp, tries to win the love of a princess.
Top Gear
BBC Two, 8.00pm
The Top Gear team rev up their engines for a 16th series with more car reviews, big-budget stunts and blokeish banter. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May assume their usual roles as loudmouth, enthusiast and wiseman, respectively. One cast change is the debut of a new Stig, the mystery driver who was introduced – as a racing-suited baby in a manger – in the Christmas special. In all other respects the show’s format remains reassuringly the same, presumably because there is no point in fixing what isn’t broken. Top Gear continues to pull in an impressive 6 million viewers and has become a global phenomenon, with viewers as far afield as Malaysia never tiring of the sight of middle-aged men blowing up caravans. Tonight’s motoring japes include Clarkson subjectingthe Skoda Yeti to a thorough road test that involves landing a helicopter on its roof, Telegraph motoring columnist May testing out the Ariel Atom V8 and Hammond racing a Porsche Turbo Cabriolet. Liverpudlian comedian John Bishop guest stars as the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. With only six episodes, Top Gear provides fans with a short burst of high-octane entertainment. VP
Lark Rise to Candleford
BBC One, 8.00pm
The decorous period drama continues with the arrival of a temporary new vicar whose views upset some villagers. The Reverend Marley, played just the right side of creepy by Burn Gorman, preaches a free-thinking doctrine that is at odds with the fire-and-brimstone views of postman Thomas Brown (Mark Heap). Marley is not the only newcomer, however: a snake slithers into Emma Timmins’s (Claudie Blakley) laundry basket, a not-very-subtle symbol of the temptation she is feeling as a lone female in Lark Rise. VP
Terry Wogan’s Ireland
BBC One, 9.00pm; Wales, 10.25pm
Those missing the whimsy of Terry Wogan on radio every morning will be pleased to see him back in the spotlight in this two-part documentary series. A mix of travelogue and Who Do You Think You Are?, it sees Wogan on a drive around the land of his birth, recounting a bit of Ireland’s tragic past and enjoying the craic at a lively pub. More insightful moments see Wogan return to his father’s birthplace of Enniskerry and have a snoop with his brother Brian around their childhood home in Limerick. Infused with Wogan’s warmth and ironic wit, it’s a pleasant enough journey, so it is. VP
Arctic with Bruce Parry
BBC Two, 9.00pm
For those who only know of Alaska as the home of Tea Party queen Sarah Palin, Bruce Parry’s travelogue gives an informative look at America’s largest state tonight. He finds that it’s a wilderness brimful of natural resources, but those willing to harvest them must brave treacherous conditions. Parry meets a family of millionaire salmon fishermen who only work a quarter of the year, as well as some eccentric gold-diggers and an indigenous tribe, the Inupiat. But this instalment ends with a whimper when the Inupiat people exclude Parry from their traditional whale hunt. VP
Being Human
BBC Three, 9.00pm
A welcome return for the bloodsucking, shape-shifting delight that is Being Human. The start of the third season finds Annie (Lenora Crichlow) in purgatory and the rest of the gang upping sticks and moving to Barry Island. Mitchell has to confront his past via a meeting with sparky Lia (Lacey Turner from EastEnders). And watch out for Robson Green as a cage-fighting werewolf. SH
Justice: Fairness and the Big Society Debate
BBC Four, 9.00pm
This year BBC Four is running a series of films debating the state of justice in Britain today. This week’s raft of programmes opens with a debate from London’s Royal Institution on political concepts such as David Cameron’s “big society” and what “fairness” means in today’s world. The discussion, hosted by Michael Sandel, a Harvard professor of political philosophy, poses questions on whether a “big society” can cross all parties, and whether it’s fair to raise student fees or cut housing benefit. Sandel also explores philosophical ideas about equality of outcome versus equality of opportunity. in 21st-century Britain. SH
That Sunday Night Show
ITV1, 10.00pm
Daybreak may still be finding its feet, but this post-watershed magazine show seems a better fit for Adrian Chiles’s wry sense of humour. Tonight he takes another sideways look at the most interesting stories of the week with two guests likely to deliver piquant views: comedian Catherine Tate and former Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott. VP
My Best Friend (2006)
BBC Four, 10.00pm
Hidden star Daniel Auteuil plays François Coste, a wealthy but obnoxious and self-satisfied Parisian antiques dealer who is challenged by a business partner to prove that he has a best friend within 10 days, in this likeable French comedy. As he trawls around Paris looking for people from his past, Coste forms an unlikely bond with a trivia-obsessed taxi driver, Bruno (Dany Boon). Slight, but funny and thoughtful comedy.
Sirens (1994)
BBC One, 11.25pm; NI, 11.45pm; Wales, 12.25am
Hugh Grant is well cast as a bumbling English vicar who is out of his depth in John Duigan’s ensemble comedy drama. Set in Thirties Australia, it charts the mission of Anglican priest Tony (Grant) to dissuade an artist from showing his provocative painting, Crucified Venus, at a local exhibition. But instead Tony gets drawn into the artist’s erotic world.
Bright Young Things (2003)
Channel 4, 1.05am
Stephen Fry made his directorial debut with this adaptation of Evelyn Waugh’s Vile Bodies, a dramedy that pokes fun at celebrity culture. Remaining faithful to the novel, the film, which is set in 1930s London, follows the debauched antics of a young writer (Stephen Campbell Moore), his fiancée (Emily Mortimer) and their circle of friends (including, Michael Sheen). Witty but weirdly sentimental, it’s an impressive first-feature none the less.
Telegraph previewers: Anne Billson, Ed Cumming, Toby Dantzic, Serena Davies, Michael Deacon, Catherine Gee, Chris Harvey, Michael Hogan, Simon Horsford, Lucy Jones, Clive Morgan, Pete Naughton, Andrew Pettie, Ceri Radford, Sam Richards, Tim Robey, Patrick Smith and Rachel Ward.
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MONDAY 24 JANUARY
CRITIC'S CHOICE: Horizon: Science Under Attack
BBC Two, 9.00pm
Sir Paul Nurse (right) has taken over the presidency of the Royal Society at a difficult time for science. Fronting this Horizon investigation, he concedes that recent health scares about vaccines and GM foods seem to have eroded public trust in scientists.The big issue for science at the moment is climate change. The overwhelming majority of scientists working in the field insist that global carbon emissions have caused the Earth’s average temperature to rise by around 0.75 degrees over the past 50 years. Yet nearly 50 per cent of Americans and more than a third of Britons believe that such climate change claims are exaggerated. Nurse’s mission here is to find out why.
He goes to America to canvass the views of Nasa – its satellite data are essential to climate change study. Back in the UK he visits Professor Phil Jones, the University of East Anglia scientist accused – but subsequently cleared – of fudging data in the “climategate” scandal; he also meets James Delingpole, the Telegraph blogger and climate change sceptic who broke the story. Nurses’s conclusion is that reporting of science in the press tends to be sensationalised, over-simplified and politically motivated, while scientists themselves don’t always help, with their media-unfriendly attitudes. It’s an intriguing look at what can happen to science once it leaves the confines of the laboratory. SR
Battle of Britain (1969)
Film4, 11.00am
Not cinema’s finest hour but stirring stuff none the less. An all-star cast fall in line to tell the story of the fight for Britain’s survival after the retreat from Dunkirk. It’s pretty standard fare but it’s always uplifting seeing Spitfires stick it to the Stukas. Laurence Olivier is joined by, among others, the late Susannah York. PR
Great British Railway Journeys
BBC Two, 6.30pm
Michael Portillo begins a five-part trundle into Kent by riding the capital’s oldest railway line, built on 878 brick arches from London Bridge to Greenwich. Alighting at the Royal Observatory, he discovers how the railways were both the catalyst and the method for standardising time across the country in the 1840s. He also he rides at 200 mph in the cab of a new high-speed commuter train from St Pancras to Chatham. SR
Birth of Britain
Channel 4, 8.00pm
If you think this winter’s been cold, it’s got nothing on 20,000 years ago, when most of Britain was under a sheet of ice a mile thick. Here, Tony Robinson investigates the effect of the last ice age on Britain’s landscape. The way in which what Robinson calls “lumbering glaciers”, thousands of feet high, were able to carve their way through the landscape is evident from the gloomy depths of Loch Ness to the drumlins (steep glacial hills) of Glasgow. First shown last year on National Geographic. SR
Panorama: Stop Stalking Me
BBC One, 8.30pm
Stalking affects two million people in Britain a year, most of them women. Tonight’s Panorama tells the story of one woman who’s been recording years of threats and abuse. Reporter Richard Bilton investigates how UK authorities are apparently failing to deal with the problem. RW
Silent Witness
BBC One, 9.00pm
In the first part of a new case for the forensic crime drama, Harry (Tom Ward, above) is glad to be able to resume his love affair with Hungarian human rights lawyer Anna (Lili Bordan) after she calls him to Budapest to perform a second postmortem examination on the body of a prostitute drowned in the River Danube. Anna believes the death is suspicious and her determination to link the case to the disappearance of other Budapest prostitutes has serious consequences for both of them. The story concludes tomorrow at 9.00pm. SR
Justice: a Citizen’s Guide to the 21st Century
BBC Four, 9.00pm
Michael Sandel, professor of government at Harvard, takes a philosophical journey to examine the thoughts of thinkers ancient and “enlightened” and to test their beliefs in the modern world. The result offers an intriguing insight into various moral predicaments: for example, say there’s a plane over London with a bomb on it, and a suspect is refusing to talk. Should you torture him if you believe it will save hundreds of lives? Sandel discusses the utilitarian thinking of Jeremy Bentham (which favoured the rights of the many), and looks at the work of Immanuel Kant, “the father of human rights”, who believed in dignity and respect for all. For an interview with Prof Sandel, visit www.telegraph.co.uk/tvandradio. SH
Layer Cake (2004)
Channel 5, 9.00pm
Directed by Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels producer Matthew Vaughn, Layer Cake is an intelligent British gangster movie. Daniel Craig plays a suave London cocaine pedlar whose attempts to quit the trade are scuppered when the sinister Kenneth Cranham asks him to do “one last job”. PS
Glee
E4, 9.00pm
The musical comedy drama, set in a US high school, tackles religion as Finn (Cory Monteith) has a spiritual awakening when he sees the face of Jesus on his toasted sandwich. To celebrate his new-found faith he asks Will (Matthew Morrison) to discuss spirituality with the group and honour Jesus in song – much to the disdain of cheerleading coach and atheist Sue (Jane Lynch). It all sounds ridiculous but it’s a decent attempt by the show to address a weighty subject for a family audience. Cue renditions of REM’s Losing My Religion and Whitney Houston’s I Look to You, but it’s Kurt’s (recent Golden Globe winner Chris Colfer) poignant cover of The Beatles’ I Want to Hold Your Hand that’s the most noteworthy. RW
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994)
TCM, 9.00pm
Three tough-guy, serious actors (Terence Stamp, Hugo Weaving and Guy Pearce) star as two drag queens and a transsexual who travel in an enormous bus to get to a cabaret gig in the Australian desert. It’s hilarious and as camp as you’d expect, but is also darkly absorbing. CG
Episodes
BBC Two, 10.00pm; not N Ireland
Three episodes in, and this comedy about how American studios set about adapting British TV series isn’t getting any better. Matt LeBlanc is actually rather charming as an exaggerated version of himself, although unlike Steve Coogan in The Trip or the brilliantly excruciating guest cameos in Extras, he hasn’t been asked to venture very near the knuckle when sending himself up. However, the main problem is that Stephen Mangan and Tamsin Greig, who play the two British scriptwriters out of their depth in Hollywood, are just plain annoying. All their jokes at the expense of the vain, insincere Americans fall flat because their smug reserve is equally unlikeable. Tonight, LeBlanc and Sean (Mangan) try to bond in Las Vegas. SR
Storyville: Sex, Death and the Gods
BBC Four, 10.00pm
They are called devadasi, “God’s female servants”, and are part of a Hindu tradition that is supposed to have been illegal for decades. And yet Biban Kidron’s thoughtful film reveals that the practice, which involves girls being married to God in childhood and then sold for sex when they reach puberty, still exists in southern India. Some devadasi say the role gives them money and independence. SH
Dog Soldiers (2002)
Film4, 11.10pm
A low-budget British horror-comedy that is fairly funny (in an OTT way) and scary. Sean Pertwee’s Army sergeant leads his men on a mission in Scotland that feels routine until he runs into a pack of bloody-thirsty beasts. Snappy direction and some convincing werewolf costumes make up for a predictable plot twist. AP
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